Rejection… just the word itself is ugly to me. Not to mention all the images and feelings it conjures up when I say it. It hits to the pit of my stomach, to the place I cant pretend in, straight to the heart and very being of my soul.
Not good enough.
Not invited in.
Whether it’s the father that left when you were young, the popular crowd you could’t quite get into in school, the job that you applied for but didn’t get, the friend that moved on to someone else to be BFF’s, the divorce, the relationship that chose success over you, the aspirations you just couldn’t live up to… the feelings of rejection are real. They can stop us in our tracks. Even keep us from enjoying the richness of future relationships and the fullness of new endeavors when we live out of the hurt these past rejections have caused.
It effects our future.
So how do we get past this rejected feeling? How do we let it not effect our relationships, our view of ourselves, our lives now?
Sure we can prop ourselves up with things that make us feel better for the moment. We can turn to shopping and buy something, we can eat something fattening (this is my personal guilty pleasure), we can find accolades in what someone else says about us or try to achieve so that we feel better about ourselves. But all of these are temporary fixes at best, and don’t heal the hurt left by rejection.
I once had a boyfriend in highschool that said “Seriously, if you would just lose 10 or 15 pounds, you would be a knock out.” We were young and although that may not have been the most appropriate comment to say to someone, what he said really wasn’t the problem. The problem was really with me. I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus and wasn’t filled up on the Lord. So anyone and any comment could wreck my world. After I accepted Christ, those rejections followed me. Even though I knew the Lord, I was still finding my identity in what people were saying about me and what I thought they were thinking about me.
As Lysa TerKeurst says in her new study Uninvited, “Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.”
The only thing that counteracts this and heals that hurt, is knowing in my soul what Christ says about me. Knowing that He knew me before he created me in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5), that He knows me so well that He has numbered the very hairs on my head (Matthew 10:30), that He considers me His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).
“Yes when I live from the abundant place that I am loved by Him, I wont find myself begging for scraps of love from others” (Lysa TerKeusrt, Uninvited)
So, friend, today lets learn to find our identity in the One that can never fail. He thinks we are the bomb! So much so that He gave the best of Heaven for you and me. If we base who we are off of the rejections of the past or the prop ups of today, we will at best be inconsistent in our feelings and our personal and public walk. But if we drink in that we are loved to our core, that our Father holds us in our hurts, that we are never alone, and always wanted, we can live loved.
always invited in.
(If you want to explore this topic deeper, join us at That.Church on January 18th for our Real Women Bible Study on Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. If you can’t join us in person, like our Real Women facebook page and watch there for the podcast on Fridays. https://www.facebook.com/tcrealwomen/?fref=ts)